Vanessa de Largie | Dec 2, 2023
This was the year I never wanted to have.
But had to have for my own evolution.
I learned on a cellular level that I only have myself – yet that is enough.
2023 felt like a regression to an earlier stage of development. I struggled to do basic things – like dressing myself or brushing my hair.
It may not have been my most tragic year.
But it was my WORST mental health year.
Throughout my life, I’ve developed coping strategies to deal with the black dog. But this year none of my tools worked and my beautiful brain felt irreparably broken.
It’s terrifying to fear your own thoughts. I’ve never experienced anything like it.
I learned that success, career advancement and societal validation are meaningless if you don’t have an adequate level of mental and physical health.
I learned that blood doesn’t make you family – only love, compassion and tenderness can make you that.
I learned that when people respond to my kindness with ungratefulness – it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them.
This year has been transformative yet painful.
I danced with old ghosts for the final time and thanked them for the lessons they taught me.