Vanessa de Largie | Maxim Magazine | June 2022 issue
The world has never been so sexualised yet ironically zoomers and millennials are having less sex than their parents and grandparents. Emails have taken the place of letters, texting has taken the place of phone calls and watching porn has taken the place of real-life sex.
I’m certainly no stranger to porn addiction. In 2017 whilst living abroad, I lost everything – my visa, my savings and my one-woman show. To deal with the stress I would sit in bed and masturbate for up to eight hours a day while watching porn, as a coping mechanism. You still with me?
Porn addiction can be a way of coping with issues that exist elsewhere in our life – family violence, financial struggle and endless rejection can all be catalysts for this much-talked-about addiction.
According to an Australian survey, 4.4 percent of men and 2.2 percent of women consider themselves – porn-addicts. So how does one know when they’re addicted to porn? I decided to compile a list, read on…
INCREASE IN PORN CONSUMPTION
Porn addiction often begins slowly and innocently (I know mine did). One day you’ll be consuming porn a couple of times a week and before you know it, you’ll be consuming porn a couple of times a day.
LOSS OF INTEREST
There are people in this world who would rather have “a diddle” than screw their significant other. If you would prefer to watch porn instead of having sex with your partner. You may have a problem buddy.
LOSS OF $$$ AND TIME
Like any addiction, porn addiction can make you feel out of control. One is always looking for their next hit and nothing seems to curb the urge. You find yourself spending more time (and more money) trying to get off but it all becomes an uphill battle with nothing really getting you there.
PORN vs REAL-LIFE SEX
Has it got to the stage where you need porn playing while you fuck a real-life partner? This is a sure-sign that you could be a porn addict and are in denial.
LACK OF CONTROL
Has porn taken over your life? Do you find yourself immersing yourself in porn when you should be working, exercising or socialising? When you can no longer control your porn habit and it begins to DICKtate your days. It might be time to reassess and seek therapy.
Look, this may all sound very depressing but there is plenty of good news I have to share with you. Watching large amounts of porn isn’t necessarily bad, some of us (yours truly included) are hypersexual beings. If you can watch large amounts of porn without it affecting other facets of your life. Keep doing what you are doing. It’s a personal choice and need. But if porn is ruining your relationships, ruining your sex life and interfering with your work life. Making an appointment with a GP or sexologist might be a smart idea.
I am certainly no porn-prude and I believe watching porn has many benefits such as increasing body confidence and sexual creativity and educating people about pleasure, diversity and fetishes.
Porn addiction isn’t a permanent condition, it can even be fixed via self care without involving the professionals at all. One can choose to use their imagination when masturbating. One can choose to devote a certain amount of time each week, exploring new sex acts with a partner. It all comes down to discipline and the need to change your life in a positive way.
If you are struggling right now with anything I have covered in this article. Sex Addiction Australia may be a good place to start. Not only do they offer counselling but they can also help you access resources in your state.
Back in 2017, I thought I would never overcome my porn addiction and this year, I choose to use my imagination over porn 90% of the time. If a depressed nympho like me can win this war, so can YOU, my fine peeps.