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Semen is a motherfucker

You don’t truly understand the term “burning sensation” until a bloke accidentally squirts cum into your eye.

Forget: sand, eyelashes or a shard of glass. Nothing and I repeat NOTHING burns the eye like semen does.

A female doctor online advises me to wash my eye with water and the stinging will apparently stop.

I take her advice and stand in the bathroom, head tilted backwards — my fingertips sprinkling raindrops of tap water into my eye socket.

The motherfucking sting was initially located on the inside corner of my lower eyelid but now that I’ve washed the eye with water — it seems the semen has spread and my entire eye feels like an inferno.

Maybe the female doctor that I spoke to is a Satanist and doesn’t believe that a woman (such as me) should derive so much pleasure from sucking cock and sex facials?

The “burn” is increasing in intensity and my eye now feels like its going to fall out of my head.

Will men still want to blow over my pretty face if I only have one eye? Or will I be thrown to the scrap-heap like the ageing starlets of yesteryear?

I take some paracetamol, run a hot bath and fall asleep while soaking. When I wake up — the bath water is cold but the burn in my eye is gone.

It appears I live to fight another day.

I am cock-sucking ready.