Stories & Articles

Coronavirus Porn

This column appeared in the September 2020 print issue of Maxim

Vanessa de Largie | Maxim Magazine | August 1st, 2020

When the coronavirus emerged as a global pandemic, who would have thought it would be pornified? Our resident sexpert takes a look at pornography in COVID-19 times…

Everything becomes pornified eventually, doesn’t it? I mean, think about it — Fart Porn, Sneeze Porn, Yiff Porn, Occult Porn, Menstrual Porn and even Bear Porn (aka hairy-obese-man porn) are all a thing. I guess Coronavirus Porn is not that surprising when you think about it — it’s simply another thing in existence that has been sexualised.

Globally, porn consumption has increased during the pandemic, which certainly wasn’t unforeseen. Netflix gets a tad boring when you’ve been bingeing on it day in and day out — for months. Considering over 350,000 people worldwide have died from coronavirus it’s not something I can imagine myself “getting off” to. I mean, love to masturbate – who doesn’t? – but Coronavirus Porn certainly surpasses my own personal boundaries.

Admittedly, I’m being judgemental. Just because it isn’t for me doesn’t mean it can’t be for others. People die from various kinks and BDSM-practices-gone-wrong every day. Different strokes for different folks, right? And, when in lockdown, people look for entertainment and novelty — they crave escapism from their fear and their reality. Artists become more innovative and resourceful. As a whole, humanity is pushed to find new ways to connect and express themselves in the middle of a global crisis — not only artistically but sexually.

When you do a search for Coronavirus Porn on Pornhub, 1,654 (at the time we went to print) videos come up, including titles such as: F—k Coronavirus, Slut-wife Breaks Coronavirus Quarantine, Coronavirus Patient F—ked In Hospital and innumerable others. There are COVID-19 porn movies that are educational, teaching viewers to act responsibly and wear masks or head-to-toe suits, insert sarcasm here…. And let me remind you that the “Mask Fetish” was on the scene long before coronavirus rocked up to the party.

Mask Fetishists can find gimp masks, gas masks, stocking masks (with holes cut in them), masquerade masks, ski masks, diving masks and dog masks arousing. The mask fetish can be about enclosure or anonymity. Then, of course, there is the “surgical mask fetish” which brings this article back to Coronavirus Porn, where it belongs. Perhaps (and I’m only making an assumption) this particular fetish is what makes Coronavirus Porn appealing to some people.

If I’m honest, when I first discovered that Coronavirus Porn had gone viral on the internet, I was a little shocked. Only because I thought perhaps it was in bad taste considering what the world was living through. Was it really the right time to be doing this? Shouldn’t porn actors and directors at least let more time pass first? But once I metabolised my initial reaction, I found it quite cool – that so many zany, quirky, kooky and weird people exist in this world and make it so bloody colourful.

We must remember COVID-19 has affected sex workers in a big way and for those working in porn and associated industries are turning to solo camera work for the sake of their own health and safety. So, here’s to Coronavirus Porn. To those who write the scripts. To those who create the costumes. And to those who perform in the scenes. We appreciate your pandemic-inspired artistry – cough (pun intended). The world would be pretty beige if the only porn that was available was vanilla porn — i.e. missionary style.

As a porn advocate, I believe pornography makes viewers try different sex acts and be more creative in their sexual lives. This is just another crazy concept that will soon be considered the new normal in adult movies. You know, when we actually finally get to live the “new normal”.