Stories & Articles

8 ways to be more erotic outside the bedroom

July Issue of Maxim Magazine. Print Column by Maxim sex columnist – Vanessa de Largie

Vanessa de Largie | Maxim Magazine | July 2019

Erotic living exists outside the confines of one’s boudoir.  It’s a way of life for many yet it should be a way of life for all.  

What prevents people from living a sexual life outside the bedroom?  Is it a lack of experimentation?  Or just blatant vanilla conventionalism?  

To celebrate Maxim’s 8th Birthday, I have collated a list to help YOU live your most erotic life.  Read on…


Creativity is the first step to living an erotic life outside the bedroom.  One has to be willing to open their mind and think outside the box.   According to a national survey conducted by Body & Soul, almost 50% of Aussie blokes craved a more adventurous sex life.  

With twice as many blokes (compared to women) admitting they enjoyed a bit of ‘crumpet’ on the side (in their supposedly monogamous relationships).  This research reveals that a lot of Australian men are bored out of their brains. Well it’s time to stop making excuses and get creative.  Creativity is the fasttrack to a truly erotic sex life.


They say erotica starts in the mind and I agree with this sentiment.  As one often discovers — imagining sex with someone can be more erotic than the actual lived reality. Arousing others can be a whole lot of fun and at this point in time — it’s still not against the law.  How does one go about arousing another away from the bedroom?  I give a few suggestions further down the list.  Patience please…!


Dick pics get a bad rap in the mainstream media, particularly from feminazis who continually try to erase a woman’s sexual agency with their meaningless arguments.  But lots of women love to receive dick pics and this is rarely spoken about.  I would suggest before you send a dick pic or kinky sext, that you’re 100% sure she is ‘open’ to receiving one.  Many women take great offense to receiving unsolicited pics of the male appendage.  So be sure to do your homework first.


Because men are such visual creatures, they tend to often view sex as physical and external.  But erotica starts internally in the form of thoughts, actions, deeds, sensations, feelings and imaginings.  Mainstream erotica and sexuality also tends to  get hung-up by surface-level stuff such as looks, clothes, etcetera.  If you want to have a shit-hot sex life and attract a whole gamut of sexual experiences. Try looking inside.


As a woman I hate the stigma around sex-work, group sex, strippers and so on.  It’s so backwards.  It demonises men and makes fools out of the women who consciously choose to work in these occupations.   Sex clubs and fetish clubs are a great place to explore sexual fantasies away from home with like-minded people in a safe and sexually educated environment.  Strippers and sex-workers provide men and women with an outlet – a place to explore new sex acts, a place away from home, a place of counsel.  But more importantly a place of non-judgment.  It’s a wonderful, (not to mention honest) way to explore one’s sexuality and sensuality.


Sex in public (though illegal) is so much fun.  The fear of getting caught only increases the carnal pleasures.  But if you’re a wowser, have no fear.  There are other sexual exchanges to be had — a flirtatious conversation with a stranger, a follow-me-home-and-fuck-me look or even an accidental and innocent brush-up against a stranger. Sexual exchanges are waiting to be had.  Put your mobile phone away and engage with the world.


Masturbating in one’s bedroom (as comfortable and relaxing as it can be) can get a tad monotonous.  Why not try some location masturbation.  The options are endless.


Intelligence is sexy.  Reading is sexy.  Knowledge is sexy.  One doesn’t have to read erotic novels to escape to new worlds.  One can escape to new worlds by reading fiction, non fiction, fantasy and history.  Erotic living is very much based in escapism via different mediums.  So read your little heart out and increase your sexual prowess.


As you can see, being erotic outside the bedroom is not always about physical acts or the external.  It’s about the mind, the emotional and the spiritual.  Being a more erotic person away from the ‘bedroom of convention’ — will enrich your life.