Stories & Articles

Forget romance. Some women just want sex

Vanessa de Largie | Rendezview | The Daily Telegraph | June 21, 2016

We’ve known for a while now that clean-cut Richie Strahan is Australia’s newest Bachelor, and it has just been announced that TV news anchor Georgia Love will be our newest Bachelorette. Once again women around the country will be drip-fed the romance-lie via soft lighting, unauthentic dates and red roses.

What is Australia’s obsession with the Bachelor/ette series? It seems the only women who are represented in mainstream shows such as these are those who seek romance, intimacy and a relationship. The media shines plenty of light on women who desire a man and eternal love. But where are the stories about women who just want a good-ole-shag? Why aren’t we being represented?

Personally, I can’t stomach the icky love stuff. It makes me want to vomit in my mouth. For me, sex is all about pleasure. The love-stuff can stay outside with the dog.

And when popular culture isn’t selling us The Bachelor, it is selling us the princess-myth. Apparently, every little girl should desire to be a Kate or a Mary and wait for Prince-F**king-Charming to show up. Why does the mainstream media assume that every woman wants a prince and a big wedding?

Forget all of this romance — where’s the sex?

Society struggles to accept a sex-loving woman and perhaps this is why romance is marketed to us in high volume. Apparently, there has to be a reason why a woman loves sex.

Is she searching for love?

Has she got a mental illness?

Was she abused?

Why must a woman have a reason for being highly sexual? Do we have to analyse it?

I write sex-columns for Penthouse Magazine and The Huffington Post. Not only has my frank approach to talking about sex garnered a following but more importantly I have begun to scratch at the untapped sexuality that lurks within many women. I’m unapologetic in my sex-writing — there’s very little I don’t talk about.

Every week I receive emails from women (and men) applauding me for being unapologetic and unashamed in my approach. But meanwhile dating shows such as The Bachelor continues to recycle an out-of-date-ideal of what a woman should desire and be.

When the movie Fifty Shades of Grey premiered in Australia last year, many high-profile commentators argued the film’s themes owed much to domestic violence, highlighting the naive and outdated view of female sexuality still so prevalent in this country. (Sorry petals, but it’s called BDSM. Spankety-spank!)

Perhaps if some truths about female sexuality were explored in mainstream media instead of this Bachelor-driven romance drivel, that sort of rawness would become less shocking.

It seems fierce female sexuality scares people — particularly women. But some of us love sex and it’s high time our demographic was represented on mainstream TV.