The Politics Of Group Sex

Artist: Jean Morisot | 1899 -1967 | France


Group sex never fails to please in our fantasies. It’s all about glistening orifices and bodies inextricably woven.

Yet in reality, group sex is more complicated. It’s no longer about licking and sucking or pounding and grinding — it’s about politics.

Group sex tends to make people ask questions:


Who loves who?

Who knows who?

Who’s attracted to who?

Who possesses more attractive attributes than who?

Who performs better than who?

Who connects with who?

​The list is endless and I could go on but I won’t bore you. The questions mentioned above are enough to start WW3.

I love group sex and first experienced it in my late teens. It was clumsy and forgettable but I had a life ahead of me to explore it’s beauty and poison.

​My first poisonous group-sex experience came in my early twenties. I can’t even remember how I met this couple but they were months away from getting hitched and quite a bit older than me.

​We had several memorable sex-sessions. The nights would go something like this:

Copious bottles of red wine

A cheeseboard

Drunkeness

Their Enya album

Their master bedroom

Debauchery

Photo by the late fetish photographer: Elmer Batters 1919 -1997


​Whenever I hear an Enya song, I automatically think of group sex and flashes of our sessions come back to me. I think about the female of the couple particularly. To this day, I still remember how soft her skin was and no doubt my immature twenty-something-self learnt what sensuality was through her.

​I found myself in a very uncomfortable situation. Caught between a woman and her soon-to-be-hubby. She felt that he was giving me more attention and that I was reciprocating. The ‘once amazing’ sex sessions of exploration and freedom had been replaced by tenseness, insecurity and false accusations. I cut ties with them but carried the lessons of that experience into my future.

It’s important to point out that many couples don’t explore threesomes, foursomes and orgies for the right reasons. Often one party is bored and group sex is a sure way to venture elsewhere without being labelled a cheater.

Usually there is one partner that wants to explore group sex more than the other. If you’re the partner that is less into it and doing it to keep the home-fires burning, it can be a very traumatic and confronting experience.

I have gone in as the third wheel for many married couples and it can be emotive and not particularly fun. But when you get a couple that truly decide to let go of their hangups and be vulnerable — it’s the best. When I join a M/F couple. I usually direct all my energy towards the wife — this seems to make the whole camp happy.

We all have limitations and it’s important to be clear about what those are before any sex takes place — otherwise things can get uncomfortable quick….and they do.

Sometimes I think a foursome works better than a threesome so nobody feels left out. Orgies of 5-plus are better again, (as long as you’re safe). The more the merrier.

Heterosexual men more than often (in my experience) love two girls. I love to have threesomes with two heterosexual guys. We all have our boundaries and it’s important to respect them.

If you are yet to venture into group sex.  I would definitely be putting it on your bucket and fuck-it list.