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I Touch Myself

Vanessa de Largie | The Huff Post | July 9th 2015

I touch myself.

I’m an avid supporter of masturbation and self-love. I believe in order to have a healthy sexual relationship with others, one needs to know themselves intimately.

My body is a roadmap — one that I travel often. I know my own pleasure. I know what is needed to push myself over the precipice. I am a self-love junkie.

Self-love has made me better for my partners. I know what I want and I know what I need. I’m not interested in being a passenger during sex; I need to be a contributing participant.

In order to own my sexuality — I need to know how it works. I’ve spent years in self-exploration and self-celebration. I know all of my secrets and I’ve unlocked every door. Through self-knowledge, I’m able to educate my sexual partners on how to pleasure me.

Masturbation isn’t just about sexual relief; masturbation is about exploring your own desires and knowing what gets you off. To masturbate is to acknowledge yourself as a sexual being.

Recently on Twitter someone used the hashtag #MasturbationMonday — which I thought was fabulous. What a great way to rid the world of Mondayitis! But let’s not stop there. Self-love is for every day of the week. How about:



#TitilationThursday and


I’m happy to give you the weekend off.

If more people practiced self-love on a regular basis, I have no doubt the world would be a happier place. When we deny our sexual needs, we become pent-up and stagnant.

Sexual desire is energy; it needs to be used up. Masturbation brings relief and helps siphon it. Repressed sexual energy requires an outlet.

There are women in my family that associate masturbation with dirtiness. How can a form of sexual love ever be dirty? Another word that people use to describe masturbation is desperation.

“People that have to resort to masturbation are desperate,” they chorus.

What’s desperate about loving yourself and honoring your own needs? If you’re hungry, you eat. If you’re thirsty, you drink. If you’re horny, you do something sexual. It’s not rocket science. Where’s the issue here? No government or church will ever control my orgasms, I know that.

I buy myself gifts. Often it’s a new sex-toy or some massage oils. At other times I will go out and purchase French lingerie or a new CD. My sexuality responds to my seduction and bribes — it likes to feel worthy too.

You see my sexuality isn’t only for my sexual partners — it’s for me.

Because I matter; my desires matter.

I touch myself.