As a mistress, I deserve your thanks, not your condemnation

Vanessa de Largie | Rendezview | The Daily Telegraph | March 9, 2017

I’m a mistress, and rather than condemn me, you might want to thank me for saving your marriage.

According to Sexual Health Australia, 70 per cent of all marriages experience an affair.

Most estimates indicate that 45 per cent of women and 60 per cent of men are willing to report that an affair has happened sometime throughout their marriage.

But when it happens, it’s the mistress that cops all the flak.

One only has to look at the recent Seven West Media Scandal between CEO, Tim Worner and former employee Amber Harrison.

I’m a proud mistress to a bunch of men and I feel absolutely no guilt or shame.

From a mistresses’s perspective, taken men are low maintenance. All they want is sex, sex, sex. They don’t fall in love with you. They don’t send you clingy text messages asking where you are. They don’t complain when you kick them out to sleep at home. And they don’t try to pressure you into having children with them.

Let’s face it, marriage cannot compete with a billion years of evolution. Men are not designed to be monogamous. Men’s physiology means they are equipped to breed far and wide. Women can choose to be naive and turn a blind eye or they can just face facts.

As American author, journalist and activist, Dan Savage rightfully said: “Straight couples don’t have to be monogamous to be married or married to be monogamous. Monogamy no more defines marriage than the presence of children does. Monogamy isn’t compulsory and its absence doesn’t invalidate a marriage. If your partner won’t (have sex with) you, one person doesn’t have the right to unilaterally declare another person’s sex life over.”

I agree. Some of the married men I see have tried for years to have sex with their wives but their wives aren’t interested. What are these fellas meant to do? Give up sex for the rest of their days? I call BS on that! Why do people feel the need to ‘own’ one another in relationships?

If anything, I’m contributing to society by keeping marriages together. I should be up for an Australian of The Year Award.

Mistresses have reigned over the little wife throughout history — Aspasia of Miletus, Nell Gwynn, Barbara Palmer and Marilyn Monroe, to name a few.

The mistress is just as worthy as the saintly wife. For she is often the muse, the counsellor and the confidant.

If a bloke is sexually satisfied via the attention of a good mistress, that will no doubt make him a better hubby and father. More time to wash his socks and jocks.